Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Everyone, Bow your Heads and Pretend to be Serious

Image from August J Pollack
This, quite possibly, is one of the funniest damn things I've read in a while. Apparently as part of an effort to promote Aqua Teen Hunger Force on the Cartoon Network, people have put up little glowing signs of Ignignokt the Mooninite giving the middle finger. One is found in Boston, and in spite of its size shape and cartoonish appearance, was taken to be a bomb. The city of Boston shut down the subway when it was discovered, and upon discoverind a series of the very same devices, basically shut down traffic for a large part of the city so that they could, essentially, blow up a bunch of lite-brites. Maybe a jackass ad campaign, but major law and political officials are trying to play this up still to keep from having to admit that they kind of look stupid putting everyone through this crap.

An angry Mayor Thomas Menino said a stiff penalty will be pursued against whoever was responsible for the devices.
"It's about keeping a city on edge. It's about public safety," he said.

So a stupid show (one I actually like quite a bit, but lets face it, the last thing ATHF is is smart) has a stupid ad campaign that causes stupid people to act stupidly in dealing with what they really didnt need to at all. Pretty stupid so far right? it gets better.

John Aravosis takes the opportunity to attack Turner Broadcasting as a whole by connecting it with his problems with Glenn Beck, a host (and yet, funny enough, also a parasite) on CNN against whom there are legitimate complaints, as detailed here. Beck basically seems like an ignorant semi-bigot who landed on TV and needs to be scraped off, but Aravosis seems to be trying to conflate one asshole on CNN with a marketing campaign for a show on the Cartoon network to launch a micro-jihad against Ted Turner evidently.

Oh, you wanted more of teh stooped?

Mayor Menino has had the two people responsible for the "hoax" (which suggests they were only pretending to put up the lite brite mooninite signs I guess, its just getting stupid now), insulting the show as "failing" (the movie is coming out soon) and threatening to sue Turner in order to cover himself for the fact that anti-terror resources were diverted because of governmental incompetance, not the malicious will of the two men responsible for the signs.

Peter Berdovsky and Sean Stevens have not actually broken any law (unless theres some sort of flyering rule they could theoretically be charged with) and clearly had no intent to cause city-wide panic and disturbence. The devices on even the most rudimentary examination are clearly not threatening. Honestly, if I left a flashlight sitting on the sidewalk (which would, basically, contain the exact same electrical components as these signs did) and called in a bomb threat on it, and the police then went and hunted down every similar looking flashlight, detonated them, wasting dozens of hours and thousands of dollars following up on something that any kind of sense would tell you isnt a threat, they shouldnt have the right to prosecute MagLite for their own stupidity. Jesus damn Christ.

Good on the two of them though for having sense enough not to take the prosecution of their not-crime seriously. They just held a press conference and refused to answer questions not relation to hairstyles from the 1970s.

In moderate fame, my existence is finally validated...

I've mentioned Perplex City before, and a few months ago they launched this YouTube contest. I made a submission with a few friends, and got honorable mention. Yay for me and my wonderful ego!

Wednesday, January 24, 2007


Just a breif little public service announcement for now going out to all you crazy cats and kittens.

Also, a very special message to a dear friend of mine.

Friday, January 12, 2007

Why I despise Joe Lieberman, Hurricane Katrina Edition

Pre Election Joe Lieberman:
The massive Governmental failure that was the Hurricaine Katrina fiasco must be investigated thoroughly and people at all levels, President Bush included, must be held accountable

Post Election Joe Lieberman:

Letting the evidence show that the Bush Administration may be slightly inept would be dangerously partisan, and anyone who disagrees is in love with Osama.

Jesus Horatio Christ do I hate this assbag.

Sunday, January 7, 2007

I really dont want to be vulgar about this...

I really, really, REALLY don't want to just let forth with the torrent of insane screaming non-FCC-approved terminology that this movie trailer brings to mind, and I'm hoping that you'll understand why, watching it.

Watch it again. They're seriously making a documentary about video game violence, a topic I'll concede worthy of examination, and doing it in the most inflammatory way possible. One shot, right after someone talking about people willing to accept more violence in video games, is from the first Oddworld game, and in the shot we see the player character Abe apparently being shocked by multiple lightning streams, writhing in pain. In fact, at that point in the game, he is recieving godlike powers, enabling him to save his fellow mudokon bretheren. The "violent" clip shown is in fact of the hero becoming the savior of his people. Classy.

The clip imediately following that is (I may be wrong but seriously doubt it) from Myst 4: Revelation, a point and click adventure game that contains absolutely no blood or violence whatsoever (none committed by the player at any rate, theres a bit of inter-NPC fighting, but certainly no killing). If they presented this to counterbalance the violent game imagery they depict then that would be good, but no, its only for a second, in which they have to falsely superimpose bullet holes onto it to pretend that it too is footage from another mindlessly violent video game. Its making stuff up to make nonviolent games seem violent. I wonder if the conclusion of the film will be weighted one way or another. No, seriously, I totally wonder about that. Losing all kinds of sleep over here.

Damn this is going to be a horrible film, isnt it... unless theyre trying to be so over the top just to set these idiots up for a fall (hope against hope) so they look like idiots for saying, for instance, that a Flight simulator is a video game and is to blame for 9/11.


Favorite expert quotes:
"We dont want to force you to adopt a rating system, but if you don't, we will." - Sen. Joe Lieberman (CT4L-CT)
Hey Joe, I don't want to shove a live hand grenade down your throat, but if you don't do it for me, I'll just have to.
"We cannot fathom what this medium will be in 40 years, and I'd bet my life on it." - Jack Thompson, professional advocate of failed anti-gaming, anti-first-amendment legislation.
You know what Jack, I agree. I too would bet my life that you, with your myopic worldview and predisposition to hate electronic entertainment, that yes, you cannot fathom what gaming will become 40 minutes from now, let alone 40 years.
"We are what we pretend to be." - Unknown
I'm Superman, nimrod. Now kneel before me.